So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
