yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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