im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
