so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
