I'm lost and stupid without you.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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