you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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