eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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