i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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