I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
