But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
