I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
