My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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