how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
