is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
