i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
