I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
