found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
