the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
