so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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