i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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