How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
