I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize