It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Floor bacon is actually really good
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
