I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
