so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
