We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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