its not stalking. its research.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize