i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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