i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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