they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
