It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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