lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
