i already hear my dad disowning me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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