And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
