My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
