I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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