We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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