Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
