All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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