these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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