May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
