Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
