Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
