I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
