Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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