Umm I'm too high to move.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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