ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think my mom watched the whole time
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
