I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
