fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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