god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
