At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
