Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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