there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
