If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
